What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
