I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So much rum. So many feels.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
