Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
