I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
