i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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