You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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