you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
