There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
being pregnant is like rehab
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
