Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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