I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this boner is exhausting
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
