just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
