so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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