Is it because I queefed?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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