First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
