Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
