OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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