Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
