you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize