Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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