Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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