Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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