I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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