why didn't you poke me back
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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