Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course