Small penises have feelings too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
