Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.

Fav 39 920 2483
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

Fav 3 1310 2148
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

Fav 36 4037 1306
share tweet
(415): View more from California

I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

Fav 15 957 2362
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

you dont need a face to have sex

Fav 44 4856 1245
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

Fav 10 6644 1246
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

Fav 8 2229 1958
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.

(234): View more from Ohio

... other people's boyfriends.

Fav 1 157 94
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.

Fav 2 29 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT