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• (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to give you the keys to my place

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

  (561): View more from Florida

  Gag me

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.

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