Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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  (313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

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  (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/iaie
  Replies (44) Good night (1492) Bad night (13475)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's shedding

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  I told you penises don't tan

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  (912): It's shedding (1-912): I told you penises don't tan http://tfl.nu/7fx9
  Replies (43) Good night (1545) Bad night (10377)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you

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  (714): no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you http://tfl.nu/e8y7
  Replies (7) Good night (3113) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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  (210): i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on http://tfl.nu/7n7l
  Replies (9) Good night (2979) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.

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  (678): I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever. http://tfl.nu/08jg
  Replies (9) Good night (2665) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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  (239): allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee. http://tfl.nu/rbdo
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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  (803): The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood. http://tfl.nu/3s7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2332) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you

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  (530): Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you http://tfl.nu/bp7f
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (2239)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.

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  (845): Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent. http://tfl.nu/1ynv
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.

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  (815): My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/xtl1
  Replies (0) Good night (954) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"

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  (859): Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!" http://tfl.nu/u3lh
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'

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  (303): IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN' http://tfl.nu/e3tp
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.

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  (330): I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it. http://tfl.nu/g09i
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment

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  (585): Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment http://tfl.nu/5svs
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (132)

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