Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block