It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird