your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌