You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
