My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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