he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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