from now on my penis is your penis
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
