I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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