I want to make a zoo with you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
