Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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