Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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