I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want to have your abortion
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
