i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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