Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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