I can tuck mytits in my pants
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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