You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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