We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
