No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
