Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
