I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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