Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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