Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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