um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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