if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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