I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
