Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize