Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
