I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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