I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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