we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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