He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Help. Why am I so naked?
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