How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
