Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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