You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Boobs are out for the taking
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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