I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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