I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
