I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
