I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
